Modernity vs Tradition: Article Response

Welcome back to my blog! Today I’ll be talking about some information that I learned from a article that I read on how South Asian women are stuck between tradition and modernity. The article is from 2011, but I think it still applies to South Asian women today. It talks about common issues such as marriage, education, and families still “investing in sons”.

Girls and women are not considered “long time investments” as they are given away to their husbands’ families. The families of the women and girls feel that they need to spend unnecessary money on them as they often pay a dowry when girls get married.

Sons are seen as the better investments. Thus resulting in the big gap between the number of women and men. In 2011, there 914 females for every 1,000 males which has gone down from 1901 where there were 972 females.

The traditional way of living, patriarchal connections, and dependence on families restricts women from choosing what’s best for them rather that choosing what others think it best for everyone.

Currently there is a shortage of female educators in rural areas, which prevents young girls and women from getting a basic education. As women get more education and access to health, there would be better opportunities for South Asian women.

 

https://www.voanews.com/east-asia-pacific/south-asian-women-caught-between-tradition-and-modernity

 

Marriages Today: Original Post

Welcome back to my blog and Happy New Year! As I narrow down my research on women in South Asia for my project, I decided to conduct a mini study of my own. As I have previously discussed in my book review, marriage is very important in South Asian communities. Girls are still considered as a burden in many parts of South Asia, where the only way to get rid of them, is to get them married. So I wanted to find out at what age women in my family got married at. For this “investigation”, Ii went to my mom, who provided me with the following information:

My Mom: 22

My Nani (grandma): 15

My Aunts: 18, 20, 21, 24, 23

My Dadi (other grandma): 16

My Cousins: 25,26, 28

From my mini investigation, I was amazed at the age my Nani and Dadi were married. At that age I had just started high school, meanwhile they were already married and having children. All my aunts and my mom married relatively young as well for American standards, but India today that just the ripe age to get married. On the other hand, men however in India get married in their 20s, 30s, or 40s, and no one ever questions it. If a male does not get married quickly after finishing their education, they are simply trying to build their careers, but if a woman was to do the same, she probably has something wrong with her.

Though most women don’t get married in their teenage years now, they still get married pretty young. Around this age here in the US, most women are working or getting graduate degrees to build their careers. The tradition of getting women to marriage quickly stops them from achieving their full potential.

Women against Women

In a society where women are treated so poorly, you would expect them all to work together and fight the inequalities. However that’s not the case.

Over the summer, there was a video going around on social media. The girl, was wearing a dress that was slightly above her knee at the mall. A women, in her late 40s tells them that they deserve to be raped and goes on to tell a group of men to rape them. The girl and her friends confront the women, telling her to apologize for her comments but she continues to argue with them. The woman also tells the store associates to call the police since the girls were filming her.

Women like her are holding back society from advancing and becoming a better place for women. India right now is trying to pass a law for death penalty for rapist meanwhile the society does not want to want to change their mindset.

No one in any circumstance should wish for another woman to be raped. When I first say this video, I was disgusted. How can a mother wish this upon a girl, old enough to be her daughter? But these types of behaviors explain why places like India and other South Asian countries are some of the most dangerous places for girls and women.

 

https://gulfnews.com/world/asia/india/indian-woman-in-mall-calls-for-rape-of-girls-for-wearing-short-dresses-video-goes-viral-1.63673134

 

Izzat: The Real Issue

Izzat, a simple word that simply means honor or respect yet holds so much importance to South Asian families. Izzat is everything that families live by. The family honor is often what drives the decisions that women in South Asian communities make.

To protect one’s “izzat”, a family would go against what a person wants, disown them, or even in some severe cases, kill the person going against them. Since the idea of “izzat” is placed upon girls at a very young age, it feels like a responsibility or burden. Throughout their entire lives, they need to protect their family’s izzat. However in most cases, what a son or male does, doesn’t affect the family honor as much. What a girl wears, her actions, and the people she hangs around with, all affect a family’s izzat. Old traditions and ideas need to change!

 

https://www.natcom.org/communication-currents/uncovering-face-how-two-generations-south-asian-indian-americans-navigate-

 

 

Current Situations in South Asia

Although the environment for women in South Asia has been changing over the last couple of years, there are still some places that are still strongly holding on to tradition. Tradition in this sense being expectations and rules enforced upon women in these areas. Where women cannot go to school and have a basic education because it costs too much money and “they are only girls” and don’t need schooling. Basically saying that girls and women are a waste of money. Where women cannot go outside without men constantly harassing them. Without the fear that they might get kidnapped, raped, or killed because of their gender. Where they are still being shamed for choosing a career over a family and children. Where they are still considered inferior and weak compared to men when in reality they are so much more. Where their own families disown them and or even kill them. Where still a son’s birth in the family is celebrated with “Ladoos” but a daughter’s is kept quiet. Where women are still seen as merely toys for men to play around with.

Why is it that women are seen less than men? Why are they treated so differently when we’re all just human?

Women In South Asia: Focused Topic

For my project, I have explored a variety of topics, such as safety, education, and marriage in South Asian communities.

My focused question will be: “How have the traditional and modern ideas transformed South Asian women’s lives?”

The quality of life has definitely improved as new ideologies such as independence and being more career oriented have arose. But the old traditions such as marriage continue to stop women in South Asia to succeed and live life to its fullest.

I look forward to seeing which factors truly influence the day to day life of women in these communities.

The End To Ladies Coupe

Welcome back to my blog! I have official finished my independent reading. The book had some very interesting parts that talked a lot about the social construct of South Asian societies.

As the book ends, Akhila finds her true self and happiness. She discovers the person she wants to spend the rest of her life with. The entire story exposed the harsh realities about society. From marriage, to children, to jobs you can do. Despite Akhila being passed the age that women in India typically marry at, she decided to go with whatever made her happy. This book talked a lot about how the community is entirely toxic and controls women for what they can and cannot do. The author, Anita Nair does a great job in talking about everyday struggles that women go through and the thoughts and desires that they have. I was able to relate to the stories that the different women had to tell. All the expectations of young girls in India are still the same. Though there is some change, career wise, other expectations such as marriage and children are still present.

Women’s Purpose

What is a woman’s purpose? Different cultures, people, and families would have a different answer to this question.

In India, Pakistan, Nepal, Sri Lanka, and Bangladesh, it’s the same answer: to marry and give birth.

The past few years my elder girl cousins have been getting married since they have turned 24. A cousin this month is also getting married.

I asked my mom if she was going to keep her job as a history teacher at a local school, she said no. I was really surprised that she wasn’t going to work anymore.

A job that she found pleasure in and worked hard for? She all of a sudden didn’t want it?

This surprised me deeply.

Apparently her future mother-in-law doesn’t want to work. She wants her to stay at home and take care of the household. Besides her son has a good job and earns well. So why work?

Well the situation got resolved and my cousin will be working. But that’s not the case for all. Many have to just leave their passion, careers, and dreams just to please others. It’s not fair.

My other cousin who got married in 2016, recently had a daughter. Her sister-in-law also had a daughter around the same time. The girls are barely a year old and the community are already asking when they are planning on having a son so he could “carry the family name”. Women are just seen as some baby popping machines that people expect to give birth to some perfect baby boys.

No one cares what the woman wants or how she feels, it’s always about what other people care about.

 

The Ladies Coupé (Part 2)

Welcome back to my blog! I have read more of my independent reading book, and I must say that it is truly amazing!

The main character is still on her way to her destination and we as the readers learn more about the other passengers and Akhilia’s personal story. The book continues to explore the different parts of South Asian culture and society. Akhilia explains how after her father’s death, she took over her household and did not have time to get into a relationship as a result of it. This was very surprising to me since from what I’ve experienced and heard. A girl or woman is rarely made in charge of a household. It’s usually the sons or other men figures in the family that take over the household responsibilities. Akhilia compared her situation to one of her neighbor, whose father also died. Her neighbor’s mother had to sell her daughter into prostitution to earn money as after the male figure gone from their life, they had no other choice.

This part of the novel explained how deeply rooted the idea of male authority is ingrained in this culture. Without a male figure in a woman’s life, she is worth nothing.

 

Is It Safe?

Hello and welcome back to my blog! Today I”ll be talking about another article that I read online today,

The article was about how situations in India have improved to make the streets at both day and night safer for women. Things like women only compartments of trains, self defense classes, women only police, women security guards, and education for the public about gender equality.

Women of this new generation and as the internet expands, the society changes. New polices are put in place to help women and to change the “old thinking”. By having more women-run safety organizations, women can find a place where they feel safe and can report any issues they might be feeling. If a woman was to go to a police station to report a case of domestic violence, but every officer was a male, they would not be able to understand her point of view.

The “Pink Police”, a all women police force located in Kerala, India.

Also helping people understand the importance of this by educating them, is extremely important. Many elders or people from previous generations, especially in rural parts of South Asia, still follow traditional ways and do not understand why women might need this type of support. In their eyes, if a woman was to experience harassment in public, it would be entirely her fault and she should keep quit to respect her family’s honor.

Though people might not understand at first, I believe that the only way to get people to understand is by educating them.

https://www.nationalgeographic.com/culture/2019/10/how-women-in-india-demanded-and-are-getting-safer-streets-feature/