Education For Women

Hello and welcome back to my blog. Today I will be talking about a tv show that I have recently started watching called “Vidya”. This is a Hindi tv show about a young widow who was denied education when she was younger and now has to teach in a school without a real degree. Vidya’s in-laws forced her to get a job at a school as an English teacher even though she doesn’t have the basic education of a 5th grader.

Now you may be wondering how it’s possible to get a job without the actual job qualifications…well let me tell you that when you have some money, you are always able to cheat the system and get a fake degree!

Now this unique plot wasn’t the only thing that catch my attention, it was also how Vidya was being treated by everyone around her which sadly is the case of many women in South Asia today.

At a young age, Vidya’s father told her to stop going to school and to help her mother in the kitchen. Many women even today do not get basic education due to the stereotype of women only being housewives. Daughters are often not sent to school since it’s more important that their brothers get the education as they will be the ones running the house later on in their life. If a girl studies and gets a degree, it is all seen as a waste since she doesn’t not need a degree to learn how to take care of a household. This is the reason why mothers rather being teaching their daughters how to cook, clean, and obey their husbands rather than being educated.

Since Vidya does not have an education, she is often manipulated by the others around her and feels helpless 24/7. Men in these societies love to gain power over almost everything. So when a woman is not  able to advocate for herself and is “weak”, men feel amazing. In every village you could easily find the elder men and women who are strictly against education for women as it gives more power to women over men and breaks tradition.

Every girl and woman deserves an equal opportunity to education!

The Dangers Of Speaking Up

Welcome back to my blog and today I’ll be writing this blog about a very alarming article I read online. Nusrat Jahan Rafi was a 19 year old who attended an Islamic school in Bangladesh. She was burned on her school roof for reporting a case of sexual harassment back in April and soon died shortly in the hospital after giving her testimony. Several of the students and the housemaster were involved.

It breaks my heart to hear these types of news everyday. Even in today’s society, the living conditions are just as bad as they were 10 or 20 years ago. Whenever a woman raises her voice in these conservative communities, there are always consequences for her. This is not just in South Asian communities but in fact happening all over the world. Women who report anything are just labeled attention seeking and liars when it comes down to the reputation of a man. In South Asia, the reputation and honor of men and family is always put above everything, whether it be a woman’s happiness or even her life. The housemaster of the school who Nusrat was filing a case against did not want to be dishonored in front of his community, thus resorting to this monstrous act.

Women are just seen as objects that men could just use and toss around. But when they do speak out, they are seen as dangerous “things” that need to be destroyed. This is the main reason to why women in these communities are afraid of speaking out. They have the fear that if they do, they or their loved ones will be harmed.

I’ve heard so many stories about girls being murdered by THEIR OWN FAMILY MEMBERS for simply getting married to the person they love or for following their passions. People are always more concerned to what other people would think and not what their own loved one would feel. The women who do speak out on these issues and support other people who go through the same thing are seen as “too westernized” and someone from whom you should keep your kids away from. They only want attention and want to destroy the century long traditions. Only God knows what would happen if your sons and daughters would get some basic humanity!

 

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.bbc.com/news/amp/world-asia-47947117

Is Marriage Worth It?

Welcome back to my blog. Today I’ll be talking about Ladies Coupé by Anita Nair. So far Akhila, the main character has been fed up of her life and decides to take a trip to a place where she’s never been before, all on her own. Akhila is a 40 year old single woman who works in a tax income department. The story starts out with Akhila waiting  for the train at the train station, when she has flashbacks to her earlier childhood life with her parents.

“A good wife listened to her husband and did as he said. A woman is not meant to take on a man’s role.”

Akhila’s mother was a housewife that believed that a wife should only cook and take care of her household unlike Karpagam, the neighbor’s mom who gave dancing lessons at her house to earn a separate income for herself. Her mother also believed that a marriage was not to be equal and the man was always going to have the superior role.

As Akhila boarded the train, she met some other women, including Janiki. Janiki was an elder woman who had been marriages to her husband for over 40 years. Everything in her life seemed perfect, but then she told her story. Janiki had an arranged marriage when she was 18 and her husband was 27. At the beginning years of her marriage, everything was fine, they would talk, listen to the radio, and read books together. But now Janiki felt that she was in a point in her life where she had reached a “certain age”. All the fun had disappeared from her life. She knew that the love between her husband and her was everlasting but she wanted something more in her life but she didn’t know what exactly she wants. But there was one thing that she did know, that her life was incomplete without him and now she only lived for him.

This first woman’s story was very similar to Akhlia’s own mother. They both convinced themselves that they had a “happy” marriage. These two stories so far portray most of the lives of South Asians today. Most women remain silent and live through any pain and suffer in silent. They all pretend that everything is okay due to societal pressure.

So far I love this book! It tells the truth of toxic marriages and also how women of other generations feel as if marriage is everything. Even now where ever you live, once you turn 24, you start getting tons of questions about when you are going to get married.

I’m excited to see what the other women who are closer to Akhila’s age have to say about marriage and companionship.

Ft. The Looks

Besides every Bollywood movie having the same storyline, there’s another thing you might be able to pick up on, how similar every actress looks. In almost every movie you would find the same slim, light-skinned girl in her 20s with a small nose, big eyes, and beautiful brows.

Colorism in the South Asian community is a big one and if you’re a young girl with slightly darker skin than the actresses on tv, you most likely have this one cream in your room. The evil Fair and Lovely. This cream is everywhere in India. No matter what corner shop you go to, I’m sure you’ll easily find it. There’s even a winter one that makes sure you stay extra light when there’s no sun. 🙂 I once had this thing in my room too. Recommended by one of my many aunts, it was suppose to make me “beautiful” and “guarantee me a great husband”.

This isn’t any basic bleaching cream, it’s the religion of young South Asian girls.

If you aren’t “fair” and “lovely”, what man would want to marry you?

Why South Asian Culture and Women?

Over a month ago, I came across this website called Brown Girl Magazine, which publishes articles about South Asian culture, taboos, books, new artists, and much more. After reading many articles on that website, I quickly realized how things have changed in the South Asian community but there are still taboos and controversies around what women should be allowed to do and how they should behave. As a South Asian myself, I wanted to dig deeper into my own community. For my research on “South Asian Culture”, I choose to read Ladies Coupé by Anita Nair. The book follows Akhila, a middle aged Indian woman who is tired of her hectic life and decides to go on a trip in search of her independence. On the train to her destination, she meets 5 other woman, who all are of different ages, occupations, and marital status. Akhila’s journey compels her to wonder if women really need men to feel complete or being single and happy is the way to go.